Helping = Happiness

There is now abundant evidence that altruism, or the act of helping others, makes us happier, for multiple reasons. We experience vicarious pleasure from helping — literally a little echo, or simulation, of the happiness we see in others. It gives us a sense of pride in having done something we know to be worthwhile. And most importantly, it strengthens our social relationships and sense of connectedness to other people, which is essential for real happiness.

We are such fundamentally social creatures. Many scientists consider humans “self-domesticated apes.” This means we evolved to be unusually mutually interdependent compared to our primate cousins. Our interdependence required us to evolve a high capacity for trust and relatively friendly, non-aggressive temperaments. Being so mutually interdependent means we are naturally predisposed to find helping those around us rewarding. We are built that way. We perceive other people, especially people we like and trust, as extensions of ourselves who we naturally empathize with and whose welfare we want to promote just as automatically as we want to promote our own welfare.

When we do things that help others, activity increases in brain regions involved in reward learning and reward anticipation. This may be related to what is called the “warm glow” of helping. These regions include the amygdala, the rostral anterior cingulate cortex (which lies a few centimeters behind your forehead) and the ventral striatum, where the neurotransmitter dopamine is released when we learn a behavior is rewarding. Increased activity in the latter region is associated with wanting to repeat rewarding activities.

The paradox is that you have to be helping because you sincerely want to help. If you are only helping out of a sense of obligation or to reap selfish gain, it may not lead to similar benefits. We don’t have good evidence of this, but my hunch is that even the types of altruistic acts we benefit from most can differ for different people. Some people find it maximally rewarding to help in so-called “effective” ways, where they know that their time or money is doing the most possible good. But this kind of helping is by necessity impersonal and abstract. So many people find it more rewarding to help in more concrete, local ways where you really see the tangible good you are doing, and where you can form connections with others who are helping — and with those being helped.

I prefer helping in a range of ways: by donating to “effective” global and local organizations, such as So Others Might Eat; running a nonprofit called the Society for the Prevention of Disorders of Aggression; participating in advocacy work for kidney-donation-related groups; and engaging in both formal and informal volunteer work for my children’s school districts and in my neighborhood. Like most people, I often find the most rewarding kinds of helping are those spontaneous moments when you see a need and do something about it on the spot. I helped a lost girl find her mom in the train station recently. I have taken more than one animal to City Wildlife. I pick up trash. It’s about noticing need, really.

Ultimately, I think of altruism kind of like exercise: The best kind of exercise is the kind you like doing, so you do it more. Do whatever kind of helping you like doing, and then you will do it more!

Here are my five tips to cultivate altruism — and be happier.

Find Like-Minded People

One of the interesting things my lab recently found in a study conducted by my Ph.D. student Paige Amormino is that prosocial people tend to have more prosocial friends! In our study, we found that people who have donated kidneys to strangers have close friends who are also much more altruistic than the average person. This could be for more than one reason, but psychologists know that like attracts like (we call this homophily). So one long-term benefit to being more prosocial could be that you will find yourself having a nicer social circle as a result.

Search Out Acts of Altruism

In the 2023 World Happiness Report, my former Ph.D. student Shawn Rhoads (G’22) and I report that just learning about acts of altruism can result in what is called “moral elevation,” which reflects extreme elevation in mood, increased energy, desire for affiliation, the motivation to do good things for other people and the desire to become a better person. Observing altruistic acts, or even learning about them from others, may also influence observers to be more altruistic in their future interactions. People may update their beliefs about normative behaviors when observing others’ altruism and, as a result, may adopt more altruistic norms in the future. By contrast, people may adopt more cynical beliefs after observing antagonistic interactions.

Thus, frequently observing altruistic acts may yield more positive beliefs about human nature and build interpersonal trust. I find reading The Washington Post’s “Inspired Life” series, reliably leads to all of these effects!

Cultivate a Habit of Altruism

Decide what kind of a person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live and make choices that are consistent with those goals. Hoyas tend to be helpers by nature — I really do see cura personalis as a motto that runs very deep at Georgetown.

Don’t Wait for the Mood to Strike

The key to a good life is developing good habits that you keep up regardless of your mood. For example, join an organization or faith community that creates structure and provides regular opportunities to help. Develop specific if-then plans, like: If I go for a walk, then I will bring a bag I can use to pick up trash and beautify my community. If I make eye contact with a stranger on my walk, then I will smile at them and say something friendly. (People should definitely do this more.)

Put Down the Phone

Don’t neglect the small moments of need or small ways you can improve others’ welfare. One big tip is: Break the habit of walking around with your face in your phone. It causes you to miss so many opportunities for connection. I’ve watched students nearly step on my very adorable (not small!) dog in Red Square because they were so engrossed in their phones. So they missed a chance to pet a cute, friendly dog, which would have made him happy, and me happy and them happy.